my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
