just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
