I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
