she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
