He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
