Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
