If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
