Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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