your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
