I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
