dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
