all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize