i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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