I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
