:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
