I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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