yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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