you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
