these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
