She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
