Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
