She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize