Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
