sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
