the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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