i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
