Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Let's get the cat blown out
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
