Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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