Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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