It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
