You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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