Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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