You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
