i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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