Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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