My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
