I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
