I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
