oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
