i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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