did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
