I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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