I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize