does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize