I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
