My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
