Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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