no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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