White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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