matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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