great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
