oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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