i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize