dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
