Your face is a jimmy john
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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