My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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