I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
