I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
