she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
