I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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