I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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