i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
