Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
